Challenge and Change

I have put off writing about this painting for some time, effectively reinforcing the theme of this entry: Challenge. 

I previously confessed Maria’s Delightful Masterpiece Attempt to be the painting that I struggled with the most. In some ways that is still true, but I have now come to realize there are different types of struggle.

First of all, there is my aversion to green. Originally I had started this piece with the intention of it going to a particular client with a green wall. I also welcomed the challenge to try once again, to have a breakthrough with this goddamn color. I don’t really think that happened, but I did manage to incorporate more green than usual.

It turned into a fusion of Points of Deliberation and something else…It is hard to say because this piece changed so much while I was working on it. I actually thought it was finished twice prior to writing this post and it took a few different iterations before it became what you see here.

It was challenging because I am not sure I am happy with it still, and it came at a time when I was nearing some uncertainty.

As you probably know from the inclusion of my travel blog and my announcement on facebook, I will be leaving the country shortly to do…I’m not sure yet. I fully intend on incorporating art into my life but I am not yet sure how that is going to manifest itself. My studio apartment in the Tenderloin of San Francisco is the closest thing I have had to a permanent working space and from now on I will be entirely transient.

I am bringing no art supplies with me overseas, just my portfolio and a sign that says “will paint for food”

Not really. Kind of.

The point is, this piece represents some tension and I can see it when I look at it. It incorporates individual elements that I like and that I feel comfortable with, but it is against a backdrop I find unsettling. The whole picture together speaks of discomfort and I have definitely never painted anything that made me feel this way.

The change comes in the many different iterations this piece took before I decided it was finished. I’m still not even sure it is…


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