I actually did finish inktober (on time). It was incredible and incredibly challenging.
I experienced dry spells and surges. I followed the prompts and then I didn’t. Some were rushed, some I took my time with.
It was the entire emotional spectrum normally felt over the course of a year.
There was so much more growth than comes across in the tiny drawings. It was simple, but difficult.
That’s the point. Doing things because they are challenging.
This is a tribute to someone who has never stopped loving me. She deserves more than this tiny scribbled bird, but I am still dedicating it to her.
She is more incredible than I can put into words. A better friend, love, support than I’ve known apart from my wife. It’s a funny thing, breaking up when you still love someone so much. It’s a special kind of love to give each other space to grow separately. It’s a difficult but rewarding experience to hurt and be hurt and still only show each other compassion. It’s stranger and more beautiful still to keep each other in close orbit while following separate paths, finding true joy in each other’s happiness.
She has always been there when I needed her. She has always supported my best interests, even if they were not also her own. She is selfless and she understands me. In light of everything I’ve gone through this past year, I’m feeling grateful for her.
“Katie, I hurt because I didn’t want to lose you. I didn’t have to lose you after all. We just transitioned into something else. Something that is still beautiful.”
And then I said…
“If I ever prayed about anything to anyone… It’s that I didn’t hurt you as badly as she hurt me.”
And then we both cried at our desks at work and I went home and drew this small screech owl drinking coffee.
It’s not easy being married to an artist, and it poses a special challenge when two artists find each other. There is a lot of “After I finish this” and “30 more minutes.” It’s a lot of time spent together, while occupying separate spaces. Not to mention, the betrayal (and guilt) that comes with having a creative surge, while the other is suffering through a dry spell. Fortunately, creative people have a way of creatively approaching this real struggle. Taking comfort in the void. Finding inspiration when it’s gone. Wife is mine today. She is the cutest, shyest, most perfect thing. And instead of saying “30 more minutes.” this time, I’m going to leave this unfinished and go be with her IRL